Random Words

Hey you,

It’s been a while since I have last written to you. It’s past 2am, and I was already in bed ready to sleep. The words started filling my mind. Words for you. Words I would like to say to you.
Much has happened since I last wrote. I am literally a mess at the moment.
Words are coming out of my mind and I have the feeling I am making no sense. It is incredible how I always feel the need to write whenever I am obliged to stay in bed for too long. It is the carnival and I not celebrating it. I am laid now. I have a twisted ankle from last Saturday. I twisted it at the game. I was so pissed during the game, you couldn’t even imagine.
This season started perfectly, we had a new coach we all soon began to love, and we were all together again, P and C had come to join the team. And then all the problems began with the new direction of the club. For the second time now, there are people thinking about leaving, there are some you have already left, and we also lost our coach. Things are pretty shitty now. In mid December I injured my right knee (I am still recovering), and two days ago I twisted my left ankle.
Apart from that I am still trying to understand I can I still be missing someone I haven’t had contact with in I don’t even remember how long. Well, that’s not so completely true. Every year I send you a Happy Birthday’s text message. Two years ago you answered it because you fail to recognise my number, but last year you answered it knowing it was from me. I have also written you an e-mail and you answered it. There was a smile on my lips for days at a row.
And this is what I have been having difficulties understanding. How can I still miss so much I person I ever know by now, this assuming I might have met you one day.
I feel time passing, see people getting together, braking up, getting over it, and it’s like I am still, surrounded by a world moving.
I went to place we met a few months ago, I visited common friends and I could not stop thinking about you all the time I was aboard. I don’t really think this should be a surprise. I am mean, there isn’t a day going by that I don’t think about you when I’m here, why should it be so different when I am at the places that remember me you the most.
I didn’t ask them about you. I wanted to go and see you, I wanted to talk about you with everyone, but… I had my trip all planned out, and I haven’t done much except being a lazy bum. Yes, it was cold, and rainy, and grey. Lousy excuses. The only thing I wanted to do was to see. So badly I want to see. What would your reaction be, I wonder? I almost sure you wouldn’t like seeing me, but something deep inside keeps telling me that you would, that you think about as well, that we could still be at least friends.
Since last August I have been learning your language. I lately haven’t been given it the time and effort it requires, but I am learning a few things. There is the possibility of my going for a language summer course, but my dissertation is also due in the summer. In my mind, I have time for everything, but then I don’t give the effort needed and I leave everything for the last minute. We will see how it goes in the next couple of months.
Miss you.
Luv d.